We’ve all seen parents who have an absolute radiance to them – a glow that just pours out of them like they’re made of some kind of unicorn magic dust. They’re happy. They’re excited about life, and always doing something exciting. They’re surrounded by amazing experiences, lucky opportunities, and brilliant people.
Seriously, where do they get the time or have the energy to do it all? We just can’t look away from these magical people. Their glow takes 10-20 years off how they look and how they act.
Glowing like this? You can do it, too. Seriously.
First and foremost, YOU are unique. There is no one else like you in the entire universe. In honor of your unique self, it is good to acknowledge and embrace the special qualities that make you the person that you are. One way to do this is to not compare yourself with other people. Okay? This is a essential lesson that our children will learn from you very quickly by the way you treat yourself and your self-talk.
Secondly, there is no law of nature, no ethereal connection between parents and children, that states that the latter must follow in the footsteps of the former. We are each of us free to become whoever we wish to be. So be gentle on yourself as a parent. No pressure. As our children forge their own path, consider that our influence will continue to shape their lives–whether or not they follow in our footsteps. Throughout their entire existence, we have endeavored to provide them with the benefit of our experiences. How our children make use of this profound gift is up to them.
So, what is this ‘glow’ you speak of? This radiance and glow isn’t a super-power or the results of a lucky or privileged life. It’s the result of a set of decisions, attitudes and habits that create a confident strength of spirit that raises our vibe and sets us on a different life path from everyone else. Yes “different” is a GOOD thing despite what society has lead you to believe.
A path where we get more of what we want out of life, and the people around us become better versions of themselves as a result. And that includes our children, which is the goal here.
Learning to understand and pay attention to what our ‘self’ needs will in turn allow us to fill our lives with unlimited loving and healing energy and to truly take care of the things that mean the most to us.
In future articles, I’ll talk more about the particulars of “how”. But for right now, there’s one thing we need to know:
If we want the best life for our children, we have to learn to GLOW.
Our children will look to us as a role model and example for how to think, talk, and “be” throughout their formative years. They’re professional copy cats, mirroring what we do and looking to us for how they should act and interact with the world around them.
So if we glow? They’ll glow. And it becomes this virtuous cycle that grows and expands to not only raise up the quality of their life, but the lives of all of their future loved ones. (And wouldn’t we all love to have grand babies who glow, too?)
It is essential to their well-being that we take care of ourselves, filling our own wells with water so that we have something to offer each day.
Imagine that for a moment: Your children, as future adults, feel like there’s so much to be happy about, no matter what circumstances they’re in. Your children thriving, living life to the fullest, expressing themselves freely, lighting up whatever room they enter. Your children, comfortable and confident that they can fully engage with life, taking chances, always learning and growing and trying new things.
Who wouldn’t want that for their children – a fulfilling life brimming with joy, love, wellness, comfort and confidence, instead of discomfort, stress and anxiety?
If we want to raise children who have that glow, that radiance that creates a strong, resilient, joyful foundation for their lives… we have to give them an example to model. Become a parent who glows.
Today is a great day to take our first steps towards building your glow.
Glowing is a process, something we nurture inside us like a houseplant that we water, prune – and yes, even talk to. It’s not a switch that we flip one day and we’re there. Our glow will grow, week after week, with the proper care and feeding.
When it all comes down to it, glow comes down to simple changes of habit. And that just takes practice, repetition and reinforcement so that the neurons in our head start going in a positive direction instead of a negative one.
I’ve been there. I feel you. Sleep deprivation and the energy to feel motivated is a challenge. It is easy to get caught up in the demands of home life because they never stop. There is always one more thing we can do to feed into our parenting guilt, another dish in the sink, a counter that needs wiping, or a person who needs a ride somewhere. If we don’t set some boundaries, we will find ourselves on an endless journey of housework and doing for others. Eventually, we will probably feel drained and out of touch with our inner life force. Instead of waiting for this to happen, integrate self-care into our daily schedule and some simple changes of habit.
- We can practice focusing on what we’re grateful for instead of tuning out the good things in our life.
- We can practice being kinder to ourselves with our thoughts, replacing negative self-talk with more affirming statements.
- We can practice checking our attitude about life, our day, our family, and asking ourselves, “Do I want to teach my children to look at things this way?”
- We can practice individual self-care activities so that they become more of our “normal”, instead of treats or things we do only if we take care of everyone else first. (Here are 30 Selfcare Ideas for Busy Parents I created if your mind doesn’t want to think too hard about it, but you know you need it–even if it’s just 5 minutes.)
- We can practice giving 30-second hugs to our loved ones, like we would if they’d just come back from a long trip and we’d missed them more than they can understand.
- We can practice being mindful in the moment, savoring what we drink, eat, touch, and smell so we nourish our soul with positive experiences.
- We can practice asking ourselves, “What can I do to feel more joy today?”, instead of assuming it will just be a grind.
If we do these things, we’ll begin to glow – and then something magical will happen.
Here’s a little secret that nobody talks about – people who glow get way more of what they want out of life. BOOM! A radiant glow is infectious and irresistible, and people will go out of their way to be nicer to us, more helpful to us, more generous. All because being around us feels good. I’m pretty sure you knew that already right?
Your children? They’ll begin to become more positive and proactive, which will make it easier to build routines of reading, cleaning up after themselves, learning new things, and anything else that’s important to equip them for life. Your glow will motivate them and inspire them.
And your partner? Well, let’s just say they’ll have a much more positive view of you, and will treat you accordingly. (This extends all the way from simple acts of kindness to resolving arguments to pure physical attraction. Glowing has its benefits.)
Yeah, Jenny duh! I know that. I heard it all before. I want to know how? Another big secret, and it will literally be a mind bend but I just wanted to plant this seed in you to grow. *whisper* The ‘how’ is not that important. Want to know why? I go into this concept that I learned and have lived my life for more than a decade and it has served me pretty well HERE.
Today let’s challenge ourselves to plant the seed of radiance within us.
Become a parent who glows – and you can take your first committed step today.
If you insist on learning about the ‘how’ for now, simply pick something to practice from the list above, and make practicing it a daily ritual. (Building a gratitude habit is a great one to start with.)
All it takes is one step, one action to start. And when we start experiencing those first stirrings of radiance within us, that tiny seed of joy will want to make us do it more.
And before we know it, our life is on a whole different track, just because we chose to plant that seed today.
On a side note, others may share what worked for them, this includes me, but only we can decide what truly makes us feel inspired, awakened, connected, fully conscious, aware and alive. Whatever your path, it is perfect and is meant especially for you.
For me, I started building a gratitude habit until I became unconsciously competent at it.